Heartbreak Hotel .. Party of 1

2-7-09- M- Well I've been very naughty for the past month the good intentions were there and then they faded as the depression and winter blues took over. When I said it wasn't what I was eating but what was eating me it was very true. I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop with my boyfriend for a long time now and it finally has. Neither of us has been happy for a very long time. I hung on and hung on but there is no more hanging on . I'm flying without a net here. The pain is unreal but it's also coupled with a big sigh of relief. It's now time for me to see what I can do on my own. One of the biggest things about my relationship with my boyfriend was he was a food enabler. He weighed in at a healthy 300lbs and had a healthy self esteem to match. It was up to me to decide what I put in my mouth but it was also harder to do when faced with a constant array of mouthwatering meals and succulent treats. Now it's up to me to decide what path I can choose. Do I wallow in self pity and get fatter or do I reclaim my spirit and move forward. It's easy to say I'd pick the path of greater good.. but anyone that's been through a heartbreak knows that's not always easy . I pray for the strength to love myself enough to not slip into even worse habits or create new ones. Thank you to Rick.. he's been through this all with me and he's just a wonderful human being and a great friend. Time to go rip up some pictures and letters. For gawds sake.. I've been dumped right before Valentines Day.. Oh the humanity!